9th Step
Nine
12/Jun/08
Step Nine. Direct amends.
Whew! What if someone will get hurt from opening an old wound? In this case, I can do what the Step suggests and not make the amends directly. Perhaps, I can simply change my behavior and stop hurting the person. I might be able to make restitution anonymously. Sometimes amends just aren't possible.
What if I'm not sure? Pray! Pray for guidance. If I've truly turned my will and my life over to God's care, He will provide opportunities for me to do His will.
Whew! What if someone will get hurt from opening an old wound? In this case, I can do what the Step suggests and not make the amends directly. Perhaps, I can simply change my behavior and stop hurting the person. I might be able to make restitution anonymously. Sometimes amends just aren't possible.
What if I'm not sure? Pray! Pray for guidance. If I've truly turned my will and my life over to God's care, He will provide opportunities for me to do His will.
—Anonymous
Doing Unto Others
31/May/08
Honesty, balance, and realism are important tools
that we must use when making amends. If we are
leaning toward self-justification, we should
consider the Golden Rule—do to others what
you would have them do to you. When we have
not followed this rule, amends are needed. The
amends need to fit the situation. We may simply
need to stop a certain behavior. For example, if
we cut someone off in traffic, it's probably
better to start driving with more courtesy than
to chase down the other driver and apologize.
However, a direct apology and/or restitution may
be necessary in other cases.
Step Nine requires using common sense and appropriate timing. It takes courage and faith. And we are not alone. Both God and our sponsor can help us. By using all the tools we have available, we can begin cleaning our slate.
Step Nine requires using common sense and appropriate timing. It takes courage and faith. And we are not alone. Both God and our sponsor can help us. By using all the tools we have available, we can begin cleaning our slate.
—Anonymous
The Ninth Step and the Lord's Prayer
07/Apr/08
I had been a member of Al-Anon for about three
years when I heard that the congregation was
planning a Recovery Ministry. I looked forward to
its starting. First, because I knew it would be
beneficial for people within and without our
membership. Second, because I hoped to be on the
receiving end of some Ninth Step work from some
of those folks. They owed it to me.
I've since realized that part of my Ninth Step work of making amends requires me to let go of what I feel those people "owe" me. Forgiving the debts owed to me puts me in a better place when I pray to be forgiven as I have forgiven my debtors.
I still look forward to being on the receiving end of some Ninth Step work—but not because it is owed to me. Instead, I look forward to seeing others progress in their recoveries.
I've since realized that part of my Ninth Step work of making amends requires me to let go of what I feel those people "owe" me. Forgiving the debts owed to me puts me in a better place when I pray to be forgiven as I have forgiven my debtors.
I still look forward to being on the receiving end of some Ninth Step work—but not because it is owed to me. Instead, I look forward to seeing others progress in their recoveries.
—Anonymous