A man was walking through the woods one day when he heard a child's voice singing The Alphabet Song. "A, B, C, D, E, F, G ..." The child was singing it over and over again. He walked toward the sound and found a young boy sitting on a log.

"Why are you singing your ABCs so much?" he asked.

"I'm praying," the boy answered.

"Yes, but why are you singing the alphabet?"

"Well, I don't know all the words, so I give God the letters. He knows what I'm trying to say."

And in the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. (Romans 8:26, 27)

—Anonymous

Tags: Prayer

Detachment at first sounds cold-hearted. It doesn't sound loving. However, it can be a wonderful gift. When I detach from someone because of his unacceptable behavior, I am allowing him to exercise his freewill.

I didn't become a control freak in order to block people from joy or self-confidence. I got involved in running their lives in order to protect them. After all, I knew better. But in "protecting" them, I've done them a great disservice. As Mark Twain wrote, "A man who holds a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."

I find it painful to watch someone suffering "needlessly," but sometimes this is the only way they can learn. There are times when someone can only learn by suffering the natural consequences of foolishness. It may be painful, both for me and the other person, but we will both be better off if I mind my own business.

—Anonymous

Tags: Detachment

Socrates once said, "Life contains two tragedies. One is not to get your heart's desire; the other is to get it."

My self-will gets me into trouble. I'll aim for some goal and get it, but even that success is rarely satisfying. It doesn't make my life complete. Or I'll aim for some goal and miss. Then I'll wind up feeling deprived and defeated. Either way, I lose.

On the other hand, when I remember the Eleventh Step and take the time to seek and follow God's will, my life turns out much better. It seems that the path to my heat's true desire is to surrender my will to His.

—Anonymous

Tags: Self-Will

After I had been in recovery for a while, I got a copy of Al-Anon's Fourth Step workbook Blueprint for Recovery and began to use it as a guide for my inventory. I was well aware of at least some of my character defects, but I was amazed at the number of questions relating to my strengths.

Over and over, I was challenged to recognized my positive qualities. Why spend time on what worked when what I was trying to do was fix myself? My sponsor answered that question this way—my strengths are the foundation that God would use to build my recovery upon. Refusing to acknowledge them was delaying my progress in recovery.

—Anonymous

Tags: Character Strengths

Save me, O God,
For the waters have threatened my life.
I have sunk in deep mire, and there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters, and a flood overflows me.

I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.
...
O God, it is You who knows my folly,
And my wrongs are not hidden from You.

—Psalm 69 (NAS95)

Tags: God's Care

One day I received a phone call from a newcomer to recovery. He asked me to be his sponsor. Wow! No one had ever asked that before. I was humbled and grateful at the same time.

Was I prepared? Was I steady enough in my own recovery? Did I really have anything to offer? Fear took over for a few minutes as we talked.

Then I realized that he wasn't asking me to be his savior. That job was already taken. He just wanted me to be a helper. He just wanted me to share my experience with him. I could do that. So we prayed together, and I agreed to be his sponsor.

—Anonymous

Tags: Sponsors

Forgiveness can sometimes be just a change in attitude. When I realized that my bitterness was hurting me more than anyone else, I began to search for a better way to view my situation.

God has used the troublesome people in my life as messengers, and His message to me was that I needed to get my own life together. I had been tolerating unacceptable behavior because I was unwilling to get the help that I needed, but eventually the message got through. I got into recovery. I don't deny all the past hurt, but I no longer carry the bitterness it brought. I am grateful for what I've learned and what I am still learning.

I won't allow old resentments to drag me down any longer. With God's help I'm building a better life day by day.

—Anonymous

Tags: Forgiveness

What is meditation? One dictionary defines it as "thinking deeply or focusing the mind for a period of time.' Another defines mediate as "to view thoughtfully."

In those quiet moments when I clear my mind and think things through, I am meditating. When I do it with prayer, asking God to guide me, I find the answers to my concerns. I don't always find the answers I expect, I don't always like the answers I find, but turning away from the answers God shows me always results in more turmoil.

I will continue to pray for knowledge of God's will for my life and the power to carry it out.

—Anonymous

Tags: 11th Step

Although these words were written by alcoholics, they apply to all of us in need of recovery:

If you have decided that you want what we have and are ready to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all of the earnestness at our command, we beg you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol—cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at a turning point. We asked for His protection and care with complete abandon.

—AA's Big Book

Tags: God's Care

Do you remember how Yogi Bear used to describe himself as "smarter than the average bear"? Well, I'm a fairly bright person. I probably have above average intelligence, so I like to think that I'm right about most things most of the time.

I don't think that I'm an insensitive person, but there are times when I behave that way by insisting that I am right. I often am, but I need to remember that other people have the right to make their own choices and their own mistakes. They have that right even when I don't agree. My relationships with others will improve as I let them be themselves.

Lord, when I'm wrong, let me be willing to admit it, and when I'm right, make me easy to live with.

—Anonymous

Tags: 10th Step

Here's something you'll hear repeated quite often at recovery meetings: Insanity is doing something the same way over and over again expecting a different result. My life was unmanageable, and I kept trying the same things to control it. I kept trying. I kept trying. It was an insane way to live.

Then I decided to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. It was a tough decision, but it should have been a no-brainer. My will had let me down every time. I was nuts to continue to rely on it. Choosing my way was choosing insanity. Eventually, I decided that if God could restore my sanity, I ought to let Him. I admitted defeat and turned to the source of genuine help.

—John

Tags: Insanity

Blaming my own discomfort on outside events, on someone else's behavior, is a way of denying what might be the real cause—my own attitudes. I can play the victim ("If you had a job/wife/situation like mine, you'd _____ too."), or I can accept responsibility for my own life and begin to get my act together.

Of course, if I had the personal resources to have my act together, I wouldn't be a person in need of recovery. I need to realize my powerlessness and let God take charge. He can get my act together.

I can choose to let Him be in charge or not. I am responsible for that choice—and the consequences that flow from it.

—Anonymous

Tags: Personal Responsibility

The arrival of faith in my life has been a slow process. It continues. It grows stronger day by day. Or at least it does so long as I keep myself open to spiritual growth.

Given the twists and turns of my life, I sometimes have trouble remaining open to such change. This is where the Steps have helped me. The discipline that they have brought to my life has led to a spiritual awakening, and now that I am awake, I can allow the Holy Spirit to be active in my life. His guidance and energy keep my faith alive and growing.

It isn't always easy, but He is always there.

—Anonymous

Tags: Spiritual Awakening

Before I got into recovery, it seemed there was nothing simple about my life. Everything was stressful, but I refused to accept that I was under strain. As my denial broke, I became aware that I was exhausted most of the time.

Then I heard the recovery slogan Keep It Simple.

I decided to let God deal with the complexities of the Universe and to tend simply to the few things that really had my name on them. What a relief! When I try to do to much, I become overwhelmed. When I keep it simple, things go much better.

—Anonymous

Tags: Keep It Simple

Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit.

—Psalm 51 (NAS95)

Tags: 7th Step

Now I've made it to Step Twelve. It must be graduation time. Well, no, not really.

One of the great insights that Bill W. had in the beginning of AA is that recovery works best as it is being shared. This is why I need to get involved in carrying the message to others.

Also, the character defects that cause my life to be out of control mess up all of my life, not just one small portion. I really do need to practice these principles in all of my affairs.

I've had a spiritual awakening as a result of the Steps. I don't want to doze off and go back to where I was. I'll keep coming back.

—Anonymous

Tags: 12th Step

The Eleventh Step suggests that I seek to improve my conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation.

There's only a limited amount of space in my mind. There's a lot of clutter and baggage from all the years I've lived, so I have to make an effort to clear a place for the Eleventh Step. When I do the work to clean up even a small corner and I let God in, the space expands as He fills it. My limited mind expands, and I can see myself and my life more clearly.

I better understand His will for me, and I sense Him empowering me to do His will.

—Anonymous

Tags: 11th Step

The Tenth Step suggests that we need to keep checking on where we are and how we're doing. Otherwise, we will find ourselves stumbling around trying to find the right path.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don't much care where—" said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

Because she was so disoriented by her strange surroundings, Alice had no idea of the correct path to take. We can avoid become similarly lost by continuing to check on where we really are.

—Anonymous

Tags: 10th Step

Step Nine. Direct amends.

Whew! What if someone will get hurt from opening an old wound? In this case, I can do what the Step suggests and not make the amends directly. Perhaps, I can simply change my behavior and stop hurting the person. I might be able to make restitution anonymously. Sometimes amends just aren't possible.

What if I'm not sure? Pray! Pray for guidance. If I've truly turned my will and my life over to God's care, He will provide opportunities for me to do His will.

—Anonymous

Tags: 9th Step

In the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta The Mikado, Ko-Ko, the Lord High Executioner, sings,

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list ...

In Step Eight we've made our list of victims, not to be beheaded, but to be the recipients of amends that we owe. In my case it was a long and scary list, but I have not let myself be stopped proceeding to the next Step because it is hard, or because I can't do it all perfectly, or because I can't get it all done overnight.

—Anonymous

Tags: 8th Step

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Real humility is seeing myself in proper relationship to God and to others. It doesn't mean begging for mercy. It doesn't mean humiliation. It just means realizing Who is really in charge of the Universe.

Shortcomings. I now no longer see mine as necessarily being crimes or faults or sins or mistakes (although many are one or more of these). Rather, I see them as roadblocks that prevent me from living the life that God wants me to live. So I humbly ask Him to begin to remove them.

—Anonymous

Tags: 7th Step

If I'm ready for the Sixth Step, I should be ready to have God begin removing my character defects. So why am I still clinging to some of them? Is it because I derive some sort fo pleasure from them?

You betcha! Take revenge, for instance. I find myself daydreaming of ways to get even with the bozzos who complicate my life. Take pride, for example. I enjoy believing that I am never wrong. Yet these defects prevent me from living the kind of life that I want. They're a barricade to my being able to treat myself and others as I should.

There will be a big hole in my recovery until I am willing to forego the momentary pleasures that I get from my character defects and begin to give up my shortcomings. If I want recovery, I need to let go and let God.

—Anonymous

Tags: 6th Step

Look at the order of the words in the Fifth Step. "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being ..."

God is first on this list. Even before we can be honest with ourselves, we need to be in an honest relationship with Him. Face it, He knows the truth already. It is fruitless to be less than truthful with Him.

We ourselves are next. If we are going to continue to deceive ourselves, the work we did in Step Four was in vain. Recovery demands honesty.

Then there's that other human being. Sharing my weaknesses and strengths with someone destroys the secrecy of the things we were trying to hide. Someone else begins to know us as we really are.

We can now move forward.

—Anonymous

Tags: 5th Step

It's easy to justify my own bad behavior. I was provoked, or I had no choice, and, besides, everyone acts that way. I can pretend that my wrongs are right—or I can begin to deal with my denial. This is what the Fourth Step is all about.

It's a searching and fearless moral inventory. It can be fearless because of the spiritual foundation I have begun to develop with the first three Steps. It is moral because deals with what is right and wrong with my conduct. And it must be searching. I must push past my denial to find the truth.

I'm a human being with faults and with virtues. I need to know the real me to understand what I'm working with.

—Anonymous

Tags: 4th Step

Step Three suggests that I put my will and my life in to God's care. God loves as I am, in spite of who I am, and accepts me with compassion. In this Step I become receptive to His guidance; I become willing to be cared for by Him.

I don't need to earn God's care. I don't need to work for it. He offers it freely if I will just accept it. I continue to have my own freewill, but I now choose to let God care for me.

—Anonymous

Tags: 3rd Step

Possibility. Hope. These are the essence of the Second Step.

With this step I came to believe that there was a Power greater than myself, and that He could restore me to sanity.

This little bit of hope was the chink in Despair's armor. Since I realized that the possibility of help existed, it made sense to me to explore a relationship with this Higher Power. Hope let to faith. Faith led to recovery.

Faith in Christ.

—Anonymous

Tags: 2nd Step

When we take the First Step, we admit that we have lost control, that we are powerless over something in our lives. We can choose to argue about our condition, but that isn't very useful. It's as insane as donning a suit of medieval armor for protection from an atom bomb. Only God can restore us to sanity.

I'm responsible for taking the necessary actions to put myself on the path to recovery. Unless I'm in some eminent danger, I can take my time to choose my best response to a situation. And in every case I can turn to God for protection. His will, not my wits, are my best hope and defense.

—Anonymous

Tags: 1st Step

There are times when I'm sitting in a meeting and I haven't a clue about how to ask for help. The pain gnaws at me from the inside, and I feel that if I don't do anything it will ... I don't know ... maybe it will get bored or tired or something and just go away and leave me alone. So I sit. I don't talk. I don't ask.

I'm afraid. I think that if you saw the real me that you would reject me. So I don't talk. And the pain remains.

But I do listen. Through the voice of another person, God does for me what I can't do for myself. Someone at the meeting shares and expresses the same feelings I am struggling with. Someone talks about dealing with the same problem. I'm a little bit safer because I'm am no longer alone.

—Anonymous

Tags: Listening

Guilt is a burden that keeps me from living fully and freely. I can get rid of my guilt by admitting where and when I have done wrong to others—and to myself. With the Eight Step I found a way to release myself from guilt's clutches.

This Step suggests that I put down on paper a list of everyone I have harmed and become willing to make amends to them. When I see that list on the table in front of me, it begins to seem manageable. I can begin to contemplate making amends to this specific group of people. The task begins to seem doable.

I don't have to do it yet, making amends is the Ninth Step, but I need to become willing see the harm that I've done to others, and I need to have the desire to clear things up.

—Anonymous

Tags: 8th Step

The process of recovery can be likened to peeling an onion. One removes a layer at a time, often shedding a few tears in the process.

The process is also a bit like the growth of a birch tree. A tree needs its bark for protection, but as a birch grows, its bark peels away to be replaced with a fresh surface. If it loses its bark prematurely to, for example, a beaver, the injured tree is exposed to infections, fungus, or insects. The tree may die.

Like a birch, I am wounded and vulnerable if I am stripped of my defenses prematurely, but God does not leave me unprotected. As I grow and change in recovery, I lose poor behaviors that have been my "defenses," and God replaces them with something new. And so my healing will progress.

—Anonymous

Tags: Healing