Honesty, balance, and realism are important tools that we must use when making amends. If we are leaning toward self-justification, we should consider the Golden Rule—do to others what you would have them do to you. When we have not followed this rule, amends are needed. The amends need to fit the situation. We may simply need to stop a certain behavior. For example, if we cut someone off in traffic, it's probably better to start driving with more courtesy than to chase down the other driver and apologize. However, a direct apology and/or restitution may be necessary in other cases.

Step Nine requires using common sense and appropriate timing. It takes courage and faith. And we are not alone. Both God and our sponsor can help us. By using all the tools we have available, we can begin cleaning our slate.

—Anonymous

Tags: Amends

The Seventh Step looks pretty simple—at first glance. Now, all I have to do is humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. In my case, the asking hasn't been so hard, but the process has been wrenching. No, it's been more like God has been using coarse sandpaper on me rather than a wrench.

I've got more than my share of rough spots, and, as Holy Spirit works to get me smoothed out, not all of the changes have been within my comfort zone. However, if I am to change, I must allow God to act on me and through me. While the work is sometimes strenuous, it is never beyond my capacity. Recovery is a journey; it is not our destination. God knows my limits, and He keeps keeps the pace within my ability stay on the path.

—Anonymous

Tags: 7th Step

There is no real progress in recovery without humility. That confused me at first, and I stubbornly resisted. I was not about to become a slave to my situation and accept whatever came my way, however humiliating. But true humility is not meek surrender to a destructive way of life. It means surrender to God's will, and that's a different matter! Humility enables us to set aside our self-will and become more attuned to God's.

A truly humble attitude brings dignity and grace to us. It strengthens us.

[F]or God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

—Anonymous

Tags: Humility

Losing my temper still afflicts me even though I've been in recovery for a while. I am trying to allow God to work on this defect in my character, but I sometimes feel what seems to be an uncontrollable impulse to judge and condemn another.

When I have such an emotional outburst, I'm really asserting that everything the I think and do is right and that everything the other person does is wrong. Sometimes the other person is God.

When I lose control, I surrender to my problems. It is better to surrender to God, to place Him in control.

God, grant me Your serenity and calm. Quieten my spirit. Take control.

—Anonymous

Tags: Deliverance

If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can.

[F]aith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope that you are convinced now that God can remove whatever self-will has blocked you off from Him. If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. That being so you have swallowed and digested some big chucks of truth about yourself.

—AA's Big Book

Tags: Personal Responsibility

For we are now on a different basis: the basis of trusting and relying on God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.

—AA's Big Book

Tags: 11th Step

Today, I will not be afraid.

What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. I will try to fill today with good things.

If my mind is clouded with fears and dreads, I will track them down and expose them to this reality—God is in charge of me, and if I will accept His protection and guidance, I have no reason to fear anything.

... I will fear no evil; for thou art with me ...

—Anonymous

Tags: Fear

I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust ...

—Psalm 40 (RSV)

Tags: Deliverance

When I started on the path to recovery, I thought of meetings as only places to unburden myself of my troubles. I've since learned that complaining only magnifies my worries; my problems seem to become larger and more disturbing.

I'm in recovery to get rid of self-pity and resentment and not to increase their power over me. I go to meetings to hear others share their experience, strength, and hope. I go to learn how they have dealt with their problems. I go to find wisdom that I can apply to my life.

God, keep me from magnifying my troubles by dwelling on them continually.

—Anonymous

Tags: Healing

While I lay in the hospital the thought came to me that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had so freely been given to me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.

My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. An how appallingly true for an alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it was just like that.

—Bill W.

Tags: 12th Step

I know that I have character defects. I know the pain and problems they have caused for me. The Sixth Step will not rid me of these defects. It only asks me to become ready. Am I ready? Entirely ready? The answer must be, "Yes," if I am to go forward in recovery. Entirely ready is not conditional. I must be completely committed to having God remove my defects of character.

The slogan "Let God and Let God" is applicable to this Step. Letting go does not mean becoming passive or not continuing to learn and grow. It means giving up the struggle between my self-will and God's wishes for me and turning control of my life over to God.

—Anonymous

Tags: 6th Step

Admitting to God and to ourselves is not enough. In the Fifth Step we break out of our isolation and share our faults with another human being, and that person must be chosen with care. We're not looking for someone to give us advice or tell us how to deal with our problems. We need a loving witness who can provide perspective on our spiritual journey. It is vital to be as honest as we can through this Step, facing our past and, through sharing our faults, making a commitment to contined growth and change.

When we complete the Step, we have accomplished a difficult task and should have learned more about ourselves, our actions, and our motivations. Many of us feel a great sense of relief as we unburden ourselves. But whether it brings us great relief or a small beginning of acceptance, Step Five brings us closer to God and helps to teach us to trust Him and other people as we recover.

—Anonymous

Tags: 5th Step

If you think you are an atheist, an agnostic, a skeptic, or have any other form of intellectual pride which keeps you from accepting [recovery], I feel sorry for you. If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit ... and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have the answer for you. It never fails, if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing ...

Your Heavenly Father will never let you down!

—Dr. Bob

Tags: God's Care

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body.

And be thankful.

—Colossians 3 (RSV)

Tags: Gratitude

There's a sentence in AA's Big Book that talks about one of the changes we experience in recovery. "We suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."

When we enter recovery, we begin living more closely attuned to the Spirit. As we progress, we grow in understanding and effectiveness. This doesn't happen overnight; recovery is a lifetime process. We must continue to watch for the old selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear, and when these pop up, we must ask God to remove them quickly from us.

—Anonymous

Tags: God's Care

Some of the best help that I ever received came from my sponsor when he got me to promise to say the Third Step Prayer every morning before my feet hit the floor—and at night, before I went to sleep, to say thank you to God for the gift of sobriety one more day.

He didn't actually extract a promise from me. He didn't come to me and say, "OK, here's what I want you to do." No, it was something I asked. "HOW??? can I do this being sober thing?" I asked how he did it, and what I could do to have what he had, peace and sobriety. So he told me that I could try getting my knees to say the Third Step Prayer every morning before my feet hit the floor—and at night, before I went to sleep, to say thank you to God for the gift of sobriety one more day. In the beginning, I had to write out the prayer and tack it to the wall near my bed. I know it by heart now; I've been saying it every day for sixteen years.

The Third Step Prayer (from AA's Big Book, p. 63)

God, I offer myself to Thee—
To build with me
and to do with me as Thou wilt.
Relieve me of the bondage of self,
that I may better do Thy will.
Take away my difficulties,
that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power,
Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!

—Anonymous

Tags: 3rd Step

I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.

O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.
I sought the LORD, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.
Look to him, and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor soul cried, and was heard by the LORD, and was saved from every trouble.
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them.

—Psalm 34 (NRSV)

Tags: God's Care

I know that I am powerless to deal with my problem by myself. The more I struggle to force solutions, the more difficult my situation becomes. Yet, I know that God can deal with matters that are beyond me—I will empty my mind of fear and rely on Him.

As St. Francis de Sales said, "God does not deprive us of His love; we deprive Him of our cooperation. God would never reject me if I had not first rejected His love."

—Anonymous

Tags: God's Care

Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

An optimist has one answer, a pessimist has another. An engineer has a third answer: The glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Now, the engineer's answer is not directly responsive to the question, but it comes from a valid point of view. It's a correct answer to a different question, one that may better fit the real world problem—Do we have the right glass for the task at hand?

Before a problem can be solved, the correct questions must be asked. If we become too focused on one point of view, we may miss a key element as we try to analyze a situation. Keeping an open mind is a vital part of a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

—Anonymous

Tags: Keep an Open Mind

The simplest of the recovery slogans is this—Think.

"Ah," you say, "We think all the time." Yes, we do, but what are we thinking about? Are we thinking about our troubles or our despair?

The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippians that they should think about "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, [whatever is] excellence and ... worthy of praise." If we are thinking along these lines, then we are likely to find God's peace before we take hasty action or speak hot words.

—Anonymous

Tags: Slogans

When I say the Serenity Prayer time and again, I could fall into merely speaking the words without taking note of their meaning. This would dull the edge of a powerful recovery tool. If I think about what I'm saying, phrase by phrase, my understanding of difference between what I can and cannot change will become more clear.

The prayer asks God for "for courage to change the things I can." There is much in my life that could stand improvement, but real change will come as a result changes in my attitudes and my actions.

In every problem, no matter how large or how small, God's loving answer to the Serenity Prayer will guide me to a better place.

—Anonymous

Tags: Serenity Prayer

Until I understood the real meaning of the Twelve Steps, I was certain that they didn't apply to me.

I didn't want to believe that I was powerless with respect to anything or that my life had become unmanageable—I could handle it. Or so I thought. Now I know that I must accept the First Step before I make any progress.

Although I knew Jesus, I was shocked by the idea that I need Him to restore me to sanity. Yet an honest look at myself and my behavior showed that my thoughts were confused by despair and resentment. I wasn't thinking clearly or taking wise decisions.

Each of the Steps challenges me to be absolutely honest with myself. They help to prepare me to accept God's working in my life to restore me to a wholesome sanity.

—Anonymous

Tags: 1st Step, 2nd Step

The best known of all English-language gospel songs has a simple but important message that we should remember—

Jesus loves me! this I know,
For the Bible tells me so;
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak, but He is strong.
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

—Anna Warner

Tags: God's Care

A friend held her hand up to her face, her palm touching her nose, and said, "I need to remember that my business is from here back." That's true for all of us.

I've turned my life and my will (not someone else's) over to God's care. I've inventoried my personal characteristics (not someone else's) and asked God to work on my (not someone else's) character defects. I make amend for the hurts that I (not someone else) have caused. I continue to take personal inventory and, when I (not someone else) have been wrong, promptly admitted it.

The process of my recovery is about me and my relationship to God. It's not about anyone else.

—Anonymous

Tags: Personal Responsibility

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."
The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.
It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

—Lamentations 3 (NRSV)

Tags: Hope

We speak of the importance of prayer. Let's stop and think about that for a moment.

If I got what I prayed for, would I be happy? Do I know what is best for me? Do I try to bargain with God or try to give Him instructions?

I need to get one thing through my thick skull: I often don't know what I really want, and I usually don't know what would be best for me. Such knowledge is in God's hands. That is why I should limit my prayer requests to pleas for guidance, an open mind to receive it, and the strength and courage to follow through.

—Anonymous

Tags: Prayer

Let's say that I want to focus on the meaning of the First Step. If I push everything else out of my mind, how might I rephrase it so that I could understand it better?

Powerless over (in my case) alcohol causes me to wonder why, if I have no power over it, do I keep trying to exert codependent control over someone else's drinking. This thought leads me to wonder why I would want to hold on to the problem. Perhaps I should follow the advice of the slogan and "Live and Let Live." Perhaps I should just mind my own business and work my own program.

This does not mean that I no longer care for others. I should continue to pray for them, but I shouldn't try to run their lives. God cares for them as He cares for me.

—Anonymous

Tags: Live and Let Live

Even in recovery, no, especially in recovery, I will not expect life to be free from difficulties and worries. I will accept the usual upsets that occur in life, realizing that they will come into even sharper focus as I begin to look at myself more clearly.

I'll deal with disappointments as they come, always reminding myself that the blessing of recovery should make them easier to take. Troubles can become opportunities for growth. Rightly used, I can learn from them and stop repeating my mistakes. Once freed from my hurt, hangup, or habit, I can devote time and energy to solving real world problems as they arise.

O God, let me never forget to be grateful for the good things in my life—especially for the sobriety and serenity of recovery that helps lead me to sanity.

—Anonymous

Tags: Expectations

In a sense, everything that happens to me is a gift from God. I may resent disappointments and rebel against unfavorable consequences, even when they are the natural result of my own poor choices. However, I've come to understand these consequences as one of God's ways of teaching me.

There's an old saying that points out that wisdom comes from experience, experience comes from problem solving, problems to solve are the result of mistakes, and mistakes come from our foolishness—so one source of wisdom is foolishness. This can be true, but only if I let God use my suffering for my benefit. The alternative is to continue to rebel. Of course, rebellion will only pile frustration on top of another. The better course is to let go and let God take a hand in my affairs.

We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.

—Anonymous

Tags: God's Care

I can't.
God can.
Let Him.

These first three Steps lead us to putting our trust in God. Surrendering to the One who is wiser and more powerful that I am brings order into my life as He assumes greater control. The Holy Spirit serves as a steadying influence and a guide to right decisions.

Paul wrote to the Romans, "For what if some did not believe? Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?" He is faithful and will care for us if we let Him.

—Anonymous

Tags: Faith

Just as I am! poor, wretched, blind—
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need in Thee to find—
O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

—Charlotte Elliot

Tags: Healing