Crutches
14/Jul/08 Filed in: Mediatation
| Prayer
When I came into recovery, I thought this prayer
and mediation stuff was a crutch for weak people
who couldn't stand on their own, and I said so. My
sponsor, quite calmly, asked me, "So what's wrong
with crutches? Don't we need help when we're hurt?"
Well, I decided to try to keep an open mind. I tried talking to God, and I tried listening for Him. I haven't had the experience of hearing His voice speaking to me in words that I can understand, but I have begun to feel that I am being helped and cared for. I have more confidence in knowing which way to go or what thing to do. I'm not all better, but I hurt less.
Maybe I do need those crutches.
Well, I decided to try to keep an open mind. I tried talking to God, and I tried listening for Him. I haven't had the experience of hearing His voice speaking to me in words that I can understand, but I have begun to feel that I am being helped and cared for. I have more confidence in knowing which way to go or what thing to do. I'm not all better, but I hurt less.
Maybe I do need those crutches.
—Anonymous
The Past
13/Jul/08 Filed in: Healing
How do I live in the present when I have these
horrifying memories from my past? Sometimes, I pray
for one moment at a time, asking for God's help
through the Serenity Prayer. Sometimes, I just cry
out to God. Sometimes, I talk it out with my
sponsor or a trusted friend. Sometimes, I go to a
meeting and just listen.
Facing the past when it surfaces doesn't mean that i have to be stuck with it. I can let God's healing power work through the program of recovery to help me feel my old, buried emotions and put them where they belong. In the past. Coming to terms with my history and letting go of its hurts is not denying it, but putting it away allows me to enjoy the present and look forward to the future with hope.
Facing the past when it surfaces doesn't mean that i have to be stuck with it. I can let God's healing power work through the program of recovery to help me feel my old, buried emotions and put them where they belong. In the past. Coming to terms with my history and letting go of its hurts is not denying it, but putting it away allows me to enjoy the present and look forward to the future with hope.
—Anonymous
Review
12/Jul/08 Filed in: Personal
Responsibility
When I was working on the Eight Step with my
sponsor, she suggested that I organize my thoughts
using the column format found in many books on
recovery. I put the name of the person I had harmed
in the first column, our relationship in the
second, my harmful actions in the third, the reason
I should make amends in the fourth, and the status
of my willingness in the last column.
A pattern emerged.
The same character defects were turning up over and over again in the third column. I had become aware of these defects in Step Four, but their truly destructive impact did not really sink in until I began to think of making amends. I had to pause and reconsider Steps Four through Seven. Was I really ready for Step Eight? Or had I just learned why it is said that recovery is a continuing process—one from which we will never be graduated, but one which can continue to lead us to progress.
A pattern emerged.
The same character defects were turning up over and over again in the third column. I had become aware of these defects in Step Four, but their truly destructive impact did not really sink in until I began to think of making amends. I had to pause and reconsider Steps Four through Seven. Was I really ready for Step Eight? Or had I just learned why it is said that recovery is a continuing process—one from which we will never be graduated, but one which can continue to lead us to progress.
—Anonymous
Changed Attitudes Can Aid Recovery
11/Jul/08 Filed in: Faith
Before I got into recovery, I didn't have much use
for God. In fact, I despised and feared Him, and I
hated organized religion. I was convinced that I
was bad, and I was angry with God for making me so
wrong, so twisted, and so fearful.
Then I came to recovery. I began to work the program. I attended meetings and began to share my story and my feelings. I got a sponsor. I worked the Steps. I began to do Twelfth Step work. I took risks. In the midst of this, I found that God wasn't who I thought He was. I found that He was One who I could cry out to, One who would hear me, and One who would care for me. I found that He loved me. I also found that my attitude about God had changed as I began to know Him better. I moved from fear and hatred to gratitude and love.
That changed attitude is the foundation of my recovery.
Then I came to recovery. I began to work the program. I attended meetings and began to share my story and my feelings. I got a sponsor. I worked the Steps. I began to do Twelfth Step work. I took risks. In the midst of this, I found that God wasn't who I thought He was. I found that He was One who I could cry out to, One who would hear me, and One who would care for me. I found that He loved me. I also found that my attitude about God had changed as I began to know Him better. I moved from fear and hatred to gratitude and love.
That changed attitude is the foundation of my recovery.
—Anonymous
Boring!
10/Jul/08 Filed in: Serenity
When I got into recovery and started hearing about
serenity, my first thought was, "Boring!"
I'd been living a roller-coaster life of emotional
highs and lows. It was insane, but it was also
exciting. One of the things to which I was addicted
was chaos. As weird as it seems now, what little
comfort I had was derived from the familiarity of
my insanity and my pain.
But I got with the program any way. I went to meetings, worked the Steps, prayed, and meditated—and, slowly at first, I began to experience moments of serenity in my life. I decided that I liked that pleasant but, for me, unusual feeling.
Serenity became a goal, one that I sought one day at a time. That process has been anything but boring. The spiritual growth I've experienced has been much more satisfying than the old roller coaster ride. I thank God every day for the priceless gift of serenity.
But I got with the program any way. I went to meetings, worked the Steps, prayed, and meditated—and, slowly at first, I began to experience moments of serenity in my life. I decided that I liked that pleasant but, for me, unusual feeling.
Serenity became a goal, one that I sought one day at a time. That process has been anything but boring. The spiritual growth I've experienced has been much more satisfying than the old roller coaster ride. I thank God every day for the priceless gift of serenity.
—Anonymous
Acknowledging Reality
09/Jul/08 Filed in: Denial
Life in the real world is not always the same as
the life we imagine. We tend to look at only the
parts we like. We really need to look at all that
the real world presents to us if we are going to
make realistic choices.
My life becomes unmanageable when I pretend that some part of the truth really isn't there. This is why sharing with others in recovery is vital for me. Sharing what is happening to me forces me to cut through my denial and focus my thinking in the real world as it is. I don't always want to face the facts; they can be painful. But when I deal with them truthfully, denial's power to cloud my thinking is destroyed.
I can't cope with something unless I deal with it as it truly is. When I acknowledge reality, when I look at a problem squarely in the face, then I can begin to take steps along the path God as set out for me.
My life becomes unmanageable when I pretend that some part of the truth really isn't there. This is why sharing with others in recovery is vital for me. Sharing what is happening to me forces me to cut through my denial and focus my thinking in the real world as it is. I don't always want to face the facts; they can be painful. But when I deal with them truthfully, denial's power to cloud my thinking is destroyed.
I can't cope with something unless I deal with it as it truly is. When I acknowledge reality, when I look at a problem squarely in the face, then I can begin to take steps along the path God as set out for me.
—Anonymous
Compared to What?
08/Jul/08 Filed in: Personal
Responsibility
When someone disagreed with me, I used to take it
as a personal failure. If I only had the right
words. Other people seemed to be happier than I
was. More self-confident. They seemed to have all
the answers. So I faked it, and many people thought
that I was happy and easygoing.
If they were so wrong about how I felt, could it be possible that I was mistaken about them? Were they happy? Were they putting on the same sort of act that I was? Was I comparing my insides to their outsides?
If I compare myself with someone else, I will lose. He'll be richer. She'll be more popular. I'm only responsible for myself. I should be taking inventory of my progress, comparing myself to what I once was and to what I understand God wants me to be.
If they were so wrong about how I felt, could it be possible that I was mistaken about them? Were they happy? Were they putting on the same sort of act that I was? Was I comparing my insides to their outsides?
If I compare myself with someone else, I will lose. He'll be richer. She'll be more popular. I'm only responsible for myself. I should be taking inventory of my progress, comparing myself to what I once was and to what I understand God wants me to be.
—Anonymous
A Firm Foundation
At first, doing a searching and fearless personal
inventory looked like another excuse to be hard on
myself. It was important for me to concentrate on
the first three Steps in order to build a firm
spiritual foundation for my recovery.
In these initial Steps we begin by admitting that we are powerless over certain things—alcohol or relationships or whatever—and learn that God has no such limitations. We decide to place our life and our will in His hands. We begin to let go of the burdens that have been weighing us down. Only after we have worked these Steps are we ready to move on. We can go forward with God's guidance.
The first three Steps are the cornerstone of recovery. No matter how long we are in recovery, no matter how much progress we make, we ultimately stand on that foundation.
In these initial Steps we begin by admitting that we are powerless over certain things—alcohol or relationships or whatever—and learn that God has no such limitations. We decide to place our life and our will in His hands. We begin to let go of the burdens that have been weighing us down. Only after we have worked these Steps are we ready to move on. We can go forward with God's guidance.
The first three Steps are the cornerstone of recovery. No matter how long we are in recovery, no matter how much progress we make, we ultimately stand on that foundation.
—Anonymous
A Lesson from Nature
06/Jul/08 Filed in: One Day at a
Time
One of the basic principles of recovery, one
repeated in the name of this web page, is One
Day at a Time. Nature surrounds us with some
excellent role models.
Trees don't stand around worrying about forest fires. The water in a lake doesn't fret about the turbulence that stirred it a few miles upstream. Butterflies don't seem to pry into each other's affairs. Most of creation seems to spend its time going about its own business. Maybe, if I paid attention, I could learn to do the same.
There's a great deal to be learned from painful circumstances, but there's even more to be found in the gentle wisdom that God shows in His creation.
Trees don't stand around worrying about forest fires. The water in a lake doesn't fret about the turbulence that stirred it a few miles upstream. Butterflies don't seem to pry into each other's affairs. Most of creation seems to spend its time going about its own business. Maybe, if I paid attention, I could learn to do the same.
There's a great deal to be learned from painful circumstances, but there's even more to be found in the gentle wisdom that God shows in His creation.
—Anonymous
Take My Life
05/Jul/08 Filed in: 3rd Step
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my will and make it Thine,
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
—Frances Havergal
Freedom
04/Jul/08 Filed in: Faith
| God's
Care
It's Independence Day in the United States, the day
we celebrate our freedom as a nation. Today, I can
also celebrate the spiritual freedom I have because
I am in recovery. Recovery has encouraged me to
find a personal understanding of God and His love
for me. Because I now think of God in terms that I
can begin to understand, I am now able to turn my
life over to His care.
My understanding of God grows and evolves. Because my finite understanding of an infinite God must always be incomplete, it is never the same as anyone else's. But that's OK. God loves us both.
I now have a sense of a unique purpose in life, one that God has planned just for me. I am the only one who can live it, and I cannot properly live anyone else's. Grounded in faith, I can hold tight to the course God has set before me and face my future with confidence.
My understanding of God grows and evolves. Because my finite understanding of an infinite God must always be incomplete, it is never the same as anyone else's. But that's OK. God loves us both.
I now have a sense of a unique purpose in life, one that God has planned just for me. I am the only one who can live it, and I cannot properly live anyone else's. Grounded in faith, I can hold tight to the course God has set before me and face my future with confidence.
—Anonymous
At the End of the Day
03/Jul/08 Filed in: 10th Step
When we retire at night, we constructively review
our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or
afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept
something to ourselves that should be discussed
with another person at once? Were we kind and
loving toward all? What could we have done better?
Were we thinking of ourselves most of the the time?
Or were we thinking of what we could do for others,
of what we could pack into the stream of life? But
we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse
or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our
usefulness to others. After making our review we
ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective
measures should be taken.
—AA's Big Book
Properly Applied Faith
02/Jul/08 Filed in: Faith
How many of us, before we began the process of
recovery, were like the fellow discussed in this
passage from AA's Big Book?
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call his attention to the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink. Perhaps your story will help him see that he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well.
Your prospect may belong to a religious denomination. His religious education and training may be far superior to yours. In that case he is going to wonder how you can add anything to what he already knows. But he will be curious to learn why his own convictions have not worked and why yours seem to work so well. He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self-sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action. Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion. Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do, but call his attention to the fact that however deep his faith and knowledge, he could not have applied it or he would not drink. Perhaps your story will help him see that he has failed to practice the very precepts he knows so well.
—Anonymous
Passing It On
01/Jul/08 Filed in: Gratitude
It is the most wonderful blessing to be relieved of
the terrible curse with which I was afflicted. My
health is good and I have regained my self-respect
and the respect of my colleagues. My home life is
ideal and my business is as good as can be expected
in these uncertain times.
I spend a great deal of time passing on what I have learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in doing so I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
I spend a great deal of time passing on what I have learned to others who want and need it badly. I do it for four reasons:
1. Sense of duty.
2. It is a pleasure.
3. Because in doing so I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it on to me.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
—Dr. Bob